We need to write this down somewhere and post it where we can always see it.

We are the ones who determine the extent of our pain or the marks it leaves on us. Pain, stress, sadness will always be there. They are an inseparable part of life, but our reactions to them cause the pain to turn into suffering or increase it.

Mathematically speaking… If we assign 10 to pain, and accept it without resistance, let’s say 0… 10 x 0 = 0, the suffering we will experience will also be 0. If we add 10 resistances to 10 pains, our suffering becomes 100.

The situation is actually very clear. We don’t leave the issue where it happened; we constantly build upon it. For example, Ahmet said something to us that we didn’t like. Instead of hearing this, giving our answer, and moving on, we can create a spiral of thoughts, jumping from one idea to another: “I wish I had said this to him/her,” “If I had said that, it would have turned into something else,” “He/She would have said this to my mother,” “My mother would have gone and told my aunt this,” and so on, turning a situation from 10 to 100.

Not doing this isn’t something that can change overnight, but even realizing that we are doing it, knowing that we are turning a situation from 10 to 100, is an experience that helps us to do it less. That’s why I told you all this. 😊

Whatever you resist becomes more permanent. The more we resist and refuse to accept the messages our body and mind send us, the more these messages will continue to be sent by our body until we accept them. Our brain does this as a matter of survival.

The more active the negativity bias becomes, the more negativity it amplifies.

It leads to an overreaction to bad things.

It directs us towards basic drives like fighting, sex, and eating. The answer to the question, “Why do I crave food when I’m stressed? I can’t control it,” lies here. Of course, physical deficiencies or improper nutrition also contribute, but one of the biggest reasons is the negative bias signals our brain sends. Overcoming these is within our power.

Wishing everyone a happy week.

With love,

Sema.